Kiran's Birth

Rich worked a night shift, 3-11:30, on Wednesday, March 14th—instead of his normal day shift, so we got to sleep in together that morning. When the kids woke up, Kylin took Kaden in to the playroom to play, and Rich and I got to cuddle and sleep a little while longer. During that morning nap I had about 3 contractions that woke me up from my sleep each time and I wondered (as I did with every set of regular contractions) “Could this be IT?!”
We got up at 8 or 8:30, had a yummy breakfast together of soft boiled eggs and toast, and then friends of mine who are studying to be midwives, Kelly and Lori, came over to practice on my belly. The contractions had continued fairly regularly after getting up, and I told Kelly and Lori that I was hoping the baby might decide to come while they were there.
They left at 10:30, and we decided to get the grocery shopping done. I continued to have contractions through Fred Meyer, and we tried to stock up on what we might like during labor and post-partum. My contractions hadn’t changed at all from what they had been for awhile, but I was having them pretty regularly and my low back was aching.
We came home and Rich cut up a bunch of veggies and made dip, and I heated up the food Kelly had brought us—lasagna, grilled chicken, and tabouli. We snacked and grazed, and Kylin, Rich, and I played dice.
At 2:30 Rich left for work, and I started dinner in the crockpot to cook—CHILI . When I was done with that, I laid down with Kaden to take a nap. I slept very soundly and we woke up together at about 5 or 5:30. I made a big pan of cornbread, and called my mom to invite her over to eat with us, since Dad was gone bowling. I think at about 7:30 Mom, Haley, and Dylan came over. I was having very regular contractions, but I couldn’t really tell if they had intensified. Looking back, I’m pretty sure they had, but at that point I still wasn’t sure I was in labor, although I was excited and hopeful. I enjoyed hanging out with my mom and sister and our kids, and while we talked, I contracted and made lactation cookies.
Rich had been at work all evening, and he called to check in on every break. By his dinner break I was thinking it might really be labor, and by his last break I was pretty sure it was. I told him he didn’t need to leave work yet, and I would call if anything changed. I was so thankful to have my mom and sister there. It kept me from being fearful of laboring without Rich there, and it was also so helpful to have my mom caring for the kids. She put Kaden down to bed, and then came downstairs to help Haley bathe Dylan.
At 10 pm I called Stephanie, who was our videographer, and who wanted as much notice as possible so that she could arrange care for her girls. I told her I was pretty sure I was in labor, the contractions were coming every couple minutes but weren’t lasting real long, and were still just “uncomfortable.” I told her we would probably be calling her to come later that night.
I had asked my friend and chiropractor, Amy, to attend our birth as well—to take still photos and to adjust the baby and/or I. Unfortunately she had left early that morning for Puerto Vallarta, so it wasn’t to be.
11:19 pm, post on MDC “PDX BabyWatch 2007 Spring Edition” thread:
“Ok...I think I need some candles, ladies. Have been having regular contractions all day, starting out a little bit painful this morning and waking me up from sleep. Tonight they've gotten more painful and now I'm having to stop and focus and breathe through them. I hope this is it, cause I don't want to do this more than I have to...these ones HURT!! I'm so excited to get in the tub when it's a little closer...that sounds soooooo good right now. I'll let you know what happens...just wanted to imagine all the candles burning (even if they're just mental! ). thanks, mamas!!”

I bustled about, cleaning up, switching sheets of cookies to bake in the oven, and doing laundry. At 11:30 pm Rich called as he left work, and my labor shifted gears. Every 2 minutes I told him “I’ll call you right back.” I walked in to the dark bathroom, leaned on the counter, and swayed my hips through contractions that lasted 30-40 seconds. I called him right back after each one, and was upbeat and excited in between. Rich said that he realized by the time he was crossing the bridge and I had already hung up and called him back about 5 times, that he knew this was it.
I continued to bustle about the house getting things done—cookies, laundry, cleaning up—and kept wondering why I didn’t want to get in the tub yet, even though it sounded so good. Although I didn’t want to admit it to myself, I was worried that my labor would be long, and I wanted to “save” the comfort of the water for when it would really be needed. It was also difficult for me to accept how far along I was in my laboring, because even though the contractions were becoming very intense, in between them I felt completely fine, and even great.
The first contraction I had after Rich arrived was in the laundry room. I leaned over the dryer, closed my eyes, swayed my hips from side to side, and vocalized through my contraction. When it subsided, I looked up to see Rich in the doorway on the phone with Ellie—despite me having told him that I thought we could wait a little while to call her. As soon as I looked up he explained unquestioningly, “I know that sound—that’s the ‘call Ellie’ sound!” I got a wonderful laugh out of that, because it is not often that Rich is caught off guard, and this was the only time I had seen it. 
I finished most of my chores, and began laboring in the living room. I think it was about this time (12 am?) that Kylin went to bed. I labored on my birth ball, and lit candles on my altar. I held my shiva lingham stone in one hand and wore my “trust” charm as a bracelet on the other.
Finally, I felt like it was time to get in the tub. As I stepped in and lowered myself into the hot water I moaned, “Ohhhhh….this is HEAVENLY…” It felt sooooooo good. Rich stayed by my side, right next to the tub. He held my hand, kissed me, gave me sips of water, and whispered sweet words of encouragement. Jack Johnson played softly on the stereo, and sometimes between contractions, I sang along.
Shortly before Betsy arrived, I turned inward. Instead of carrying on conversations with others between contractions, I became quiet and meditative. I contemplated this change and what it might mean (transition??..). I asked Rich to light the sage and smudge our birth space. Betsy arrived and sat quietly on the couch. Up until this point I had been aware of the people around me and what they were doing—the flash of the camera…conversations…but after this point most of what I remember is what was going on within myself.
I distinctly remember when my body’s energy shifted. It was just before the urge to bear down began, I noticed a distinct shift in my energy—as if it was suddenly moving in a direction down my belly. I hesitated to believe this was the first sign of pushing. I doubted (as I had with Kaden) that I could be this far along already. I did not want to get my hopes up, and then be disappointed or discouraged. But, the feeling grew and intensified. Soon I let out a little push with the contraction and it felt so good…exactly right. I still wanted validation that it was, in fact, ok to push—so I asked to be checked. Betsy donned her gloves, and got no further than a fingertip in when she said “the head is right there.” With that, I began pushing in earnest.
Sometime in there, Rich slipped into the tub to be with me. He sat behind me and anchored my body. It was the most amazing feeling to have these intense rushes of energy going through me, to have my body floating completely off the earth, and to be grounded only by my partner. It was wonderful…other-world-ly feeling.
As I pushed, my water broke. Rich said it felt like a shockwave went through the water, and he knew something happened even before I said it. I felt the head move smoothly down inside of me, much more quickly and with less effort than with Kaden. I believe it was a combination of it being my second vaginal birth, the comfort and pressure of the water, my upright position, and the presence of a little less fear. I do remember wrestling inside with the fear of pushing a baby out, but the battle was much shorter this time, and I got my resolve much easier.
I reached my hand down and felt my tissue stretch around our baby’s soft fuzzy head…What an amazing, surreal feeling. I tried to remain calm and focused, and maintaining contact with the baby and my perineum helped me do that. I pushed his head out and felt it fill my palm…It was so soft—I think a combination of his fuzzy hair, and the layer of vernix. Rich reached around me and rubbed his little head also, as we waited for my next urge to push, and for his body to be born. At 1:31 am, I pushed his little body into the water, into my arms, and Rich and I pulled him up on to my chest. I said, “Check her and make sure she’s ok,” just as I ran my hand down his bum and felt his little testicles in my hand. “It’s a BOY! ” I said, and apologized to him: “Sorry, little guy!”
My mom had brought Kylin down while I pushed, but she had stayed asleep on the couch. After the baby was born, I asked Kylin to join us in the tub, and this got her up. We enjoyed some time in the warm water together, as Ellie got his breathing going, and finally announced his name: Kiran Cedar Cross Hall.